That moment when a poem starts to bubble while I’m cooking dinner…
When Grandma O’Driscoll found a pistol
In a tin beneath Grandpa’s bed
She went to the larder, didn’t need to look harder
And replaced the biscuit tin taken by Ned.
When the biscuits, slices, and muffins,
Were back in their rightful place
Grandma O’Driscoll took the pistol
And loaded it, just in case.
There were poachers who’d been getting closer
To the chooks, the geese, and the ducks
The girls weren’t happy, making Grandpa snappy
To see them running amok.
Feathers were moulting, they looked revolting
The scene was sad to see
So Grandma O’Driscoll took that pistol
And hid behind a tree.
In the dead of night when the moon was bright
Just a hoot from the owl in the tree
Those poachers arrived, armed with knives
They hadn’t come for scones and tea.
Grandma O’Driscoll raised that pistol
With a calm and steady hand
She pulled the trigger as they stood near the digger
The crack rang out through the land.
The poachers yelped, but nobody helped
Being shot in the butt isn’t nice
But it was just a graze, Grandma intended to faze
Not to kill either once or twice.
Grandpa came out and gave a shout
“Clear off, you bastards”, he cried
Or I’ll get out my shotgun and aim for your butt
You’ll not walk for a month, he lied.
The poachers took off like a rocket, knives in their pocket
“The show’s over, we’d better run!”
They never came back, after that crack
From Grandpa O’Driscoll’s gun.
The pistol had delivered justice once more
After years in the biscuit tin
“That gun saved our lives in the war, you know”
He said full of pride, rememberin’.
“Well, poachers be gone! It’s time for a brew.”
Grandma O’Driscoll took Ned’s hand
She had stood up to the mongrels, without any frills
In her old coat, with pride for their land.
The tea was hot, the biscuits were fresh
The tin now stored the baking instead
And Grandma O’Driscoll returned that pistol
Wrapped in a towel, and put it back under the bed.
Thanks for reading
5 thoughts on “O’Driscoll’s Pistol”
Thats a good bit of fun, Fleur. I do love some humour in poetry. Well done.
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Thank you Mason, it was fun to write although I’ve no idea where it popped up from!
Loved that. Made me laugh.
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Thanks Steve, if I made you, the master of making people laugh, then I am thrilled!
Thanks Steve, if I made you laugh, you, the master of making people laugh, then I am thrilled! That almost sounded like something Dennis would say 🤣