O’Driscoll’s Pistol

---

That moment when a poem starts to bubble while I’m cooking dinner…

---

O’Driscoll’s Pistol

When Grandma O’Driscoll found a pistol

In a tin beneath Grandpa’s bed

She went to the larder, didn’t need to look harder

And replaced the biscuit tin taken by Ned.

---

When the biscuits, slices, and muffins,

Were back in their rightful place

Grandma O’Driscoll took the pistol

And loaded it, just in case.

---

There were poachers who’d been getting closer

To the chooks, the geese, and the ducks

The girls weren’t happy, making Grandpa snappy

To see them running amok.

---

Feathers were moulting, they looked revolting

The scene was sad to see

So Grandma O’Driscoll took that pistol

And hid behind a tree.

---

In the dead of night when the moon was bright

Just a hoot from the owl in the tree

Those poachers arrived, armed with knives

They hadn’t come for scones and tea.

---

Grandma O’Driscoll raised that pistol

With a calm and steady hand

She pulled the trigger as they stood near the digger

The crack rang out through the land.

---

The poachers yelped, but nobody helped

Being shot in the butt isn’t nice

But it was just a graze, Grandma intended to faze

Not to kill either once or twice.

---

Grandpa came out and gave a shout

“Clear off, you bastards”, he cried

Or I’ll get out my shotgun and aim for your butt

You’ll not walk for a month, he lied.

---

The poachers took off like a rocket, knives in their pocket

“The show’s over, we’d better run!”

They never came back, after that crack

From Grandpa O’Driscoll’s gun.

---

The pistol had delivered justice once more

After years in the biscuit tin

“That gun saved our lives in the war, you know”

He said full of pride, rememberin’.

---

“Well, poachers be gone! It’s time for a brew.”

Grandma O’Driscoll took Ned’s hand

She had stood up to the mongrels, without any frills

In her old coat, with pride for their land.

---

The tea was hot, the biscuits were fresh

The tin now stored the baking instead

And Grandma O’Driscoll returned that pistol

Wrapped in a towel, and put it back under the bed.

---

Thanks for reading