FOWC with Fandango — Flounder Ragtag Daily Prompt — Roots
Hey, how are you doing? That is such a generic thing to ask, I know, but feel free to say exactly how you are doing in the comments. Don’t hold back…I don’t!
I know there is a ton of stuff to catch up on, and I haven’t even scratched the surface yet…but before we go there…I had a short trip away and took a flight south. So on the return flight, while I flounder in my bag for my boarding pass, the ground crew lady at the departure gate asked me if I want to have an exit seat. Apparently, they have to have those seats filled. And besides, there’s more legroom. That was her pitch and I took the bait. I thought okay, sign me up.
What they didn’t cover was what happened once I was in the cabin, in my allocated seat, strapped in…
I was just getting my inflight read out; a book about a haunted house that has a tree growing up through the middle and the roots selectively strangle people…sounds like the next level of Little Shop of Horrors…then the cabin attendant comes along and says really fast, “so you know you are in an Exit seat?”
“So if we are in the situation where we need to use the exit, all you have to do is pull that lever, and…I was like, what?…and stopped listening…
I have to do what?
Well, as you are sitting by the exit door, you will be required to assist us, open the door, and follow all instructions given by the crew…
Oh, I’m not sure I want to do all that…
Without blinking and still talking really fast…so annoying…he says, “Is that so? Well, in that case, ma’am, we will have to allocate you to another seat, without all that lovely leg room…”
A voice inside my head said you’ll be fine…
Taking a breath and pulling a face, I shrugged and said “okay, whatever.”
So he actually showed me, like talked me through graphically, how to open the exit door, should we need it at 33,000 feet.
I am the last person that should have that information. Seriously.
After that little fiasco, the cabin crew continues to talk at 100 miles an hour with the safety drill in the event of an emergency…bla bla bla. It’s just as well they didn’t point to me and say just go see that lady there by the exit seat, she will know exactly what to do to help you. I understood stuff-all of the safety drill. Is it just me who has a thing about how fast the cabin crew talk before take-off? What’s the hurry? We are only going to sit and wait on the runway for 10 minutes until we get the green light from the guys up in the tower.
Just so you know, I didn’t need to open the door, BUT the plastic cover of another red cord on the door, kept falling off, so I tried to stick it back on but the sticky on the velcro was worn out…so it just hung there for two and a half hours and I’m like…I really don’t like how it’s just hanging there. It’s like the devil’s advocate saying, Go on …pull me…
And another thing. It must be really cold out there, high above the clouds at 33,000 feet. That door was so cold to the touch. Yes, I did touch it. It was like sitting next to a freezer door that was open. Looking out over the wing, like right on the wing… I guess that’s where we go out onto…there are even arrows painted or stuck on showing where to walk..?! I can just see us all balancing on that wing…do they give us goggles?…and then what happens…?
And each time we had turbulence, I stared at the wing tip…how much was it wobbling…
So next time I take to the skies, I don’t care how much legroom I have, I’m going in a regular seat!
For my next “must read: Martha’s slice of life”, I’d better start on all the other stuff I need to catch up on…unless something else happens that I have to tell you about.
Thanks for reading, Martha best not upset the cabin crew on these flights, it wouldn’t be the first time a passenger has been escorted off!