Martha’s Musings #10

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Woohoo! We’ve reached double digits! #10!

FOWC with Fandango  — Diplomatic

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Hey, Yule tide greetings, my dudes!  Have a cool Yule!  

No, I haven’t gone weirder than usual on you, these are some of the sayings on the Christmas cards I’ve seen lately.

I’m actually amazed that I have found time to check in with you and write a quick something to wish you a merry ol’ time at Christmas. 

 What a crazy time of year.  Everyone goes nuts.  The shoppers are so focused, their single vision not seeing anyone else in their path as they scan the shelves.  They are like Get the hell out of the way, I’m coming through!  I invented some new dance moves at my local supermarket this week.  I look a bit like my good mate, Mr. Bean…the way he seems to have a rubber body and can move in ways most people wouldn’t think possible. You do know Mr. Bean…right?   He’s one of my favourite funny men.  I’ll include one of my favourite skits of his, so you know who I’m on about. 

Anyway. Back to my dance moves.  So I’m swaying, I’m literally swaying back and forth to avoid contact with trolleys as they whizz past me.  If I don’t move, I’ll be like, “old lady down!”  I’m not old at all, but you know how they say “Officer down” on the cop shows?  Well, that would be me.  So I’m bending back and forth as they come straight for me.  Like bumper cars.  It’s a jungle out there.

And then there is that chore, of wrapping the presents.  I don’t know about you, but I find no cheer in that part, at all.  Maybe I’m missing a gene in my brain that should be there that gets excited about wrapping oddly shaped, or just normal-sized presents. 

 To be fair, I don’t buy expensive wraps.  I buy the cheap stuff, it’s thin and usually in packs of three or a huge roll of about 2 km long.  The way I see it, it’s only going to be ripped off so fast in all the excitement of  “what did you get me this year…God not undies again… do they think I have a urinary incontinence problem or something…”

So, why spend a lot on thick, good-quality wrapping paper when they just rip it off anyway..?

So picture this if you will…or don’t then…whatever…

I have all the presents grouped accordingly so everyone gets the right presents…that helps…

And I’m wrapping up awkward shapes with pointy bits.  Of course, my cheap paper is going to rip! 

And another thing.  It’s hard when the paper is tightly rolled…and it won’t straighten out so I can’t do that neat fold at the top like my dear old Ma used to do.  Her wrapping was a piece of art back in the day when the paper was of better quality. Like everything else, things have got thinner and smaller but cost the same.  Don’t get me started on that one…I’ll talk about that another time…

So I’m wrapping, the curly corners of my wrapping paper are not behaving at all, and I’m that close to saying stuff it, why didn’t I just buy a bunch of those gift bags instead…the answer is because they are dearer…

I’m not cheap…I’m thrifty.

In the end, I decide there is only one way to fix this.  No, it’s not more sticky tape, it’s not more ribbon, it’s not swearing, it comes in a bottle and is chilling in my fridge.  I tell my cat to go fetch my wine, and she pours, while I wrap.  No, my cat can’t really do that, I get it myself.  It would be so good if she could though. But you catch my drift…yes?

Otherwise, I am all set for Christmas.  Well, sort of.  I’ve still got the trifle to make tomorrow.  The ham is in the fridge, beside the wine.  Then I’m off to my family for a day of feasting, some drinking, plenty of laughs, some presents, lots of hugs, and a big fat snooze afterward.

I’m wishing you a cracker Christmas that was on another card I saw…

I’ll fill you in about my big day later, there is sure to be something to tell you about!  At least I can’t burn the custard this year, I bought ready-made in a carton!

Thanks for reading my rants, I hope they have been entertaining, informative, helpful, and possibly stuff you always wanted to know!

Later, my dudes…Merry Christmas from your pal, Martha 🙂

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